Home Review


We’ve all been there, bored in the office, when the big boss man issues another one of his inspirational written edicts.

Do you know what would be brilliant? Writing a sarcastic response to his latest hare-brained idea and forwarding it to a few trusted colleagues to cheer us all up.

My friends will find it hilarious, that attractive new intern I’ve been flirting with will surely see I’m a true untameable maverick.

Just refine that witty retort and click send…

Crumbs! it transpires that I have hit reply all instead of forward.

Glory be! there’s the boss man walking to his desk.

‘Oh-oh! guys… guys… big problem, how do you recall a message?’

Like I say we’ve all been there… right? Sticking it to the man.

Turns out that misdirected email communication is not just confined to handsome earthlings as the hero of DreamWorks latest animated cash cow, Home, discovers.

This is the story of Oh, a member of a peaceful, nomadic, alien race, The Moov, who have recently annexed Earth and gently dispatched all of its inhabitants into a perfectly pleasant housing development in Australia.

The Moov are on the run from another, sinister, alien race and have relocated to Earth to take shelter. Their cover is blown when the accident prone Oh inadvertently emails an invite to his new flat warming party to the entire universe, including The Moov’s sworn enemies.

Oh flees the authorities and soon encounters a resourceful girl, Tip, who has, up to now, avoided capture by The Moov. The two fugitives join together to search for Tip’s mother and to save The Moov and/or Earth from certain destruction.

Home is an enjoyably charming and inoffensive romp, whose cute alien depictions will be hugely popular with children haranguing parents into purchasing the action figures.

Oh, an intelligent outsider who struggles to understand human characteristics is voiced by Jim Parsons aka Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. Tip, a feisty, independent Bajan is voiced by Rhianna.

I guess this is how it goes now, secure the talent and then write the characters. Because I could have cast that pair in those roles. One mainstream act to raise the profile of the ‘project’ and a cult character from a niche sitcom to pique the sci-fi crowd’s interest in an attempt to purchase credibility.

Seems like our heroine took a bit more persuading to get on board then big Jim as her minions have clearly leveraged the film’s producers to make the movie a vehicle for her soon to be released soundtrack featuring, you guessed it, brand new Rhianna material.

If I didn’t know any better I would swear that DreamWorks are engaging their talent with profit margins, rather than any artistic merit, in mind.

Of course this soundtrack to a children’s movie will be marketed to the ravenous masses with numerous staged and ‘un-staged’ images of her in varied stages of provocative partial nudity before the inevitable dead behind the eyes promotional appearance with Jonathon Ross to have her arse kissed.

Home will shift units, Rhianna will shift exponentially more units off its back and another part of my soul will rot.

Does anybody have Rhianna’s email address? I feel a reply all coming on.

Frank Gardiner

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Dates ‘n stuff

March 2015