World War Z Review

World War Z

World War Z is a film about the end of the world.

Which is funny, because my world came crashing down a few moments after leaving this screening.

But first, let’s get to the fictional action.

A Brad Pitt shaped actor, who’s definitely not trying to count his bank balance while desperately peddling some perfume to us normal folk, his non-sexual and doubtless Angelina Jolie vetted screen wife and their 2.4 children are all having breakfast in some Manhattan mansion they’re fortunate enough live in.

Said actor who looks like Pitt sports a stubbly beard, longish hair and the air of a man who knows his place amongst the women in his life.

Beneath them.

Having cooked breakfast for his three angels, featuring a mysterious yet obligatory mention of Pitt’s military past he left behind for this domestic bliss, this happy family promptly dash off on a school run or family trip or something that requires them all to saddle up into a people cruiser and plough through the crowded streets of New York City.

As for all those dirty dishes, well they’ll just have to wait for this pussy whipped version of Brad to get back from playing chauffeur to his double x chromosome overlords.

Lucky for him then that some sort of mental zombie disease kicks off in downtown NYC on the way to wherever Pitt and his fictional family are off to.

See, even in movies this guy leads a charmed life.

Now, there are loads of super charged zombie type folk decimating everything around them as they search for their next human victim.

If only there was some super suave and caring Brad Pitt shaped fellow with a mysterious military past who could come out of retirement, save the world and, even more importantly, save his family.

World War Z is the film that was supposed to bring Mr Angelina Jolie’s bullet proof film career crashing down around him.

From the supposedly unfilmable Max Brooks novel this was based on, via a steadily rising number of writing credits for the screenplay to the last minute re-shoots at the behest of Pitt himself, World War Z was supposed to be awful.

But it’s not.

Admittedly, it ain’t that great either, but it’s unlikely to make a dent in the carefully coiffed acting career of Teflon Brad either.

Obviously, there’s plenty going on here that I don’t understand; from the reason why zombies came into being, where they got their super strength from and why the film ends like it’s just a precursor to World War Z 2.0.

But then such problems seem to be the norm for modern blockbusters these days.

Pitt looks good without ever approaching the intensity of those stellar performances from his golden days of Twelve Monkeys, Seven and Fight Club, and the rest of the cast are really just there to make up the numbers.

Apparently, Matthew Fox is in this film, but his features must have got lost amongst all the zombie madness going on.

World War Z is about human kind’s closing chapter on this earth, but if you really only had one night left to live, there are so many better ways to spend your time than watching this.

I only wish someone had told me this beforehand.

Jonathan Campbell

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Dates ‘n stuff

June 2013